Finding Balance – Introverted Vs Extoverted Recharging

IMG_20171126_112613_835My idea of a restful weekend is being at home and not having to touch my car all weekend. I love to just enjoy the stress free feeling of having nowhere to go and nothing in particular to do. After a whole week of driving to and from work and attending to other business, driving is normally the last thing I want to do on a weekend.
I think your home should be your refuge and place to recuperate and find rest. I often find it strange when someone says I am bored at home because for me home is the ultimate place to be on a weekend. Nothing better to achieve this, for me, than spending some time in the kitchen cooking a nice meal whilst listening to some music.

I love big yards because they offer serenity. I can explore my own yard and find amazing plants and flowers, insects and birds. There is always something new to see if you are looking for it and are curious. Photography has helped me to appreciate my surroundings even more and to be curious.

Then a little choice and selective television to unwind and just explore. Nature shows and documentaries are my first choice, then perhaps a good movie. A science-fiction or thriller will do, thank you.

But I know that for some people that would be a very dull weekend full of drudgery and boredom. Some people’s idea of a good and restful weekend is driving around, hanging out with friends, having braais, socialising and all. Being home all weekend to them is like being imprisoned.
Nothing wrong with that, I have come to learn. People like me, who are naturally introverted, live internally. We find the greatest satisfaction from being able to get away from it all and just think and reflect. Solitude does not mean loneliness, but rather being alone. We recharge our batteries by finding peace and quiet.

Others, live externally. Social interaction is their form of recharging. When alone they feel lonely and not at peace. They crave excitement and novelty. They need constant interaction with people. Extroversion is like that.

This can be a real challenge in a relationship when one partner is like me, introverted, and the other is extroverted. Then it can be a real struggle to find balance. The extrovert might complain that their partner is boring and never wants to do anything. The introvert would say their partner is too demanding and always wanting to go out and have fun.

For the introvert, spending money on such activities they do not consider necessary nor fun can be an added stress. The extrovert may think their partner is stingy. But it is really just a matter of perspective.

What is important, is to understand one another’s personalities and work around that. Balance is key and both parties must be given the time to enjoy what they like. So sometimes a weekend home will do and another time some time out would be nice. Each has to compromise and do what is good for the other person.

It is amazing how long it took me to learn this. I used to think there was something wrong or weird about me. I remember as a teenager declining some family outings and preferring to be home alone to just relax. My parents no doubt were worried about my behaviour, which I find quite funny in retrospect.

But doing personality profiles like Myers Briggs has reassured me. Having an INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) personality profile has put things in perspective and helped me to understand my behaviour better.

In my book Destiny On Purpose I talk about how important is to know yourself better by doing this and other personality profiles. It is one step closer to understanding your purpose in life. And one step closer to better relationships once you understand your strengths and weaknesses.

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